Sometimes: I am lost I feel used I lie to myself and I mostly know it's a lie I don't understand why bad things happen I rationalize myself out of feeling things to travel and never look back seems so much more glorious the smell of mornings make me smile wistfully doing what's wrong doesn't always necessarily seem wrong all I want is to be a Gospel-driven woman living by the beach in Cape Cod, writing essays and short stories doing what's right isn't easy there is such assurance that this is right I think I can settle emotions are the drive of me I don't understand why good things happen I am understood? I feel loved I am found