you try so hard to establish and meet this arbitrary point of idealism to find worth and identity. you become prone to self-sabotage, but only in the subtlest ways.
caught up in the performance of moralism and legalism, how could you understand intimacy through the means of grace? how could you understand a free and undeserved love when all you knew was to live for this unattainable perfection? and for what end, to receive a love that you didn’t understand?
and you discover that this one thing — this impossible love — that you need is the one thing you will never deserve. and you realize that you will spend the rest of your life pursuing to deserve it or pursuing to never need it.
and that is where He finds you. picking you up gently from the ground amidst wounds and scars, you find that you are loved by an all-sufficient one who needs nothing of you but wants everything of you.
what love is this that He brings you to Himself in your helplessness allowing Himself to be torn apart that you would be restored? what grace is this that He gives boundlessly and perfectly in manners exceeding the comprehension of your simple, mortal mind? what tenderness is this that He not only composes every beat of your heart but also delights in the rhythm of it? what faithfulness is this that He calls you His own and buys you with His own blood giving you a name and a hope unfailing?
you are His own possession, His own child and heir, and you who have been lost all your life are struck beyond all disbelief that you are undeniably and completely found.
30 November 2013
Posted by Eunice Chung at 11:26 PM